Scorpio to Lose Status as Zodiac Sign

The biggest buzz coming out of the 218th Annual Meeting of the American Astronomical Society in Boston on Monday, centered around a plan to remove the constellation Scorpius from the Zodiac and replace it with the constellation Ophiuchus.

"We're mostly concerned with science and the facts, but astrology is just a mess, and this might help with astrologers predictions", says Dr. George VanDelay, author of the proposal, with more than a hint of sarcasm.

What precipitated this controversial shift in policy is the fact that the Sun actually travels through thirteen constellations as seen from the Earth on its annual trip around our nearest star. These are the twelve traditional zodiac constellations and Ophiuchus. "We tried to get the thirteenth sign, Ophiuchus,  officially recognized as a zodiacal sign a few years ago, but the traditionalists insisted on keeping a dozen only", VanDelay explained. "The problem is the Sun is in the constellation Scorpius for less than a week, while it resides in Ophiuchus for almost three weeks out of the year."

The red dashed line is the Sun's path through Scorpius and Ophiuchus 
In a surprise move, VanDelay announced a new, more radical proposal to take to the International Astronomical Union, the official body who names celestial objects and determines the boundaries of constellations. His solution is to adjust the constellation boundary between Scorpius and Ophiuchus to re-assign the section of Scorpius that the Sun travels through for 6 days each year into the constellation of Ophiuchus.

The crowd of astronomers in the main Westin Hotel conference room reacted angrily at first. "Most astronomers prefer the solution we came up with before; adding Ophiuchus to the Zodiac. That represents the more scientific approach to this ages old problem. There are already millions of people who have adopted Ophiuchus as their Sun sign", said Dr. Ken Marvelous of the AAS. "But, VanDelay makes a lot of sense. We just have to make sure the IAU doesn't try to demote Scorpius to 'dwarf constellation' status with this redrawing of the boundaries."

"We tried to reason with astrologers on this Ophiuchus issue before", said VanDelay. "Now it seems the best way to resolve the whole thing forever, is to just eliminate Scorpius from the equation." By the time VanDelay was done laying out his plan to take a constellation reorganization plan to the IAU, the crowd was energized and gave him a standing ovation. It seems almost certain the AAS will endorse this restructuring of the zodiac. This kind of proposal usually takes a couple years to make it through the IAU submissions process, but VanDelay has already quietly submitted a written proposal, so this will be on the agenda at the next IAU General Assembly in Beijing, August 20-31, 2012.

"This is a brilliant plan", said Dr. Wilson Hale of UC Berkeley, "They already cut off the Scorpion's claws ages ago to create the constellation Libra. That just shows how arbitrary this whole thing is."

Angelica Spock from University of Missouri added, "It's no secret that astrological predictions have never been less reliable that they are today. My horoscope is almost never right any more. Maybe this will help astrologers get their act together."


Dr. G. VanDelay said...

Mike, I am so glad to see your story on this constellation mishap. I am sure your readers will help spread the word of keeping twelve constellations but swapping Oph for Sco. We want to keep 12, otherwise the calender, newspapers, and even Tarot card decks would become confusing and have to be reconfigured.
"Constellation conservation" is out motto. Long Live Ophiuchus !!
Dr. George VanDelay

Gerardo Blanco said...

Ja!! It's a perfect script for Seinfeild!!
A dwarf constellation?!!!
The "scientists" have very strange names: Ken Marvelous? Wilson Hale? Angelica Spock?
Dr. Geoge VanDelay? Like Art Vandelay and Vandelay Industries and George Constanza?
It's like mixing Dick Van Dyke and Ellery Hale and Leonard Nimoy!
Well, its a mess, like astrology...

Seriously: the wrong thing with astrology is not the number of constellations, the time of the year and duration of each sign. That are weak arguments against astrology. If, some day, astrologists add a sign and change the duration and time of each sign, what are we going to say about astrology? The real problem is that they say things they don't know and that they don't want to know. Therefore, it's not a science.

aKuna Kumara said...

The way I see it -because I hold the belief we are moving into a changing frequency of energy as a Solar System.(all being energy) Is that the energy of Astrology will have to also reflect this and adding to the existing is Expansion which is what the universal Field changes or transforms but doesn't delete so eliminating Scorpio NO adding Ophiuchus just like the new
Dwarf Planets in the Kuiper Belt is right on cue AS IT's ALL ENERGY expanding frequency....